Feeling defeated? Dealing with negative or limiting thoughts lately? Not feeling like you are or are doing enough?
Welcome to the club! This seems to be happening for everyone lately. I’ve heard over and over again lately that people are feeling discouraged due to lack of progress in their yoga business, or feeling like they are starting over, or feeling like they don’t know enough in order to help others.
If you're feeling those things, this blog is for you my friend!
I did a pep talk previously back in 2020 in episode #39 and it's time for an updated version. This conversation is meant to be the reset you need when you’re struggling with making progress in business (or life). Be sure to bookmark this one so you have it on hand whenever you need it!
**This was also a podcast episode (episode #133). Use the player below if you'd prefer to listen to this message.
First, I’m going to share with you several things I’ve been hearing lately...and I bet that you’ll hear something that resonates with you today, too.
"I feel like I’m starting over."
"I’m not sure what step to take."
"I know what step to take, but I’m scared/nervous/simply not taking action."
"I’m feeling discouraged [for whatever reason]"
"I feel like I should be doing 'more.'"
I’m sick and tired of things changing all the time." (usually related to the pandemic)
"I’m worn out from it all!"
"I don’t know enough to help someone else."
"I’m too old."
"Someone else does this, and way better than me!"
"It’s all been done before."
Which one resonated? Which one really called out to you? I can guarantee you that it's one (if not more) of these things. I have heard these over and over again and it breaks my heart.
I know you're doing amazing things. I know it, your students know it, but so often we don't think we're doing amazing things because no one is telling us.
Nine times out of ten, you ARE helping people. They're just not saying it to you. There are people who appreciate what you're doing, you just don't know it yet. And maybe you'll never know it, but I promise you you have people that are so thankful that you are doing what you are called to in life.
You are not alone!
If there’s anything I’ve heard more lately it’s the feeling of defeat, tiredness, and "not-enoughness". So if you’re feeling any of these or similar, you’re not alone.
Understanding this doesn't take away the feeling, but it does help ease the sting of whatever you're going through. Knowing we're not alone is helpful because it helps to normalize our experience and we feel recognized and accepted by another person.
You know when you're having a conversation with someone and they say something you can relate to 100%? You have that special moment of "Wow, you feel this way too?" I want you to feel that RIGHT NOW. Whatever you are feeling right now, a lot of other people are feeling it as well. You are not alone.
When we feel alone we often don’t ask for help or support and that leads to more struggle. I need you to know that you're not alone because I want you to ask for support.
Talk to a friend, a biz bestie, or a partner about whatever it is you’re struggling with. Sometimes saying it out helps immediately. For example: I often answer my own question or realize how silly something is when I talk to my biz besties. It seems bigger in our minds.
You are enough. You are doing enough. You know enough.
Period. Just as you are today, you are enough for what you were put on this earth to do.
You have gifts that you were meant to share and you have everything inside you right now. Our experiences will help us grow but you have everything you need right now. You are enough right now.
In my opinion, the "not enoughness" that can get inside of our heads comes from comparison. We are not born with this feeling of not being enough. We learn the concept of being “less than” as we grow up.
For example, when we’re learning to walk or talk we don’t think “someone else is already doing this.” We have the capability in us as a child to learn to talk or walk, but we have to try to make it happen.
It's the same with what you’re trying to accomplish now. You have the ability to do it, but you’re doubting that ability.
Come up with a reframing phase TODAY that you can reframe your "not enoughness" thoughts. Write it on your mirror (like I do) or a post it or make it your background on your phone. See it, read it, say it. We have to reframe our thoughts.
Breathe and take a step back
When you find yourself spinning a bit with these thoughts of doubt, not-enoughness, or limiting thoughts, you have to interrupt the thought. Take a breath and then state your reframing thought.
I find myself saying this all the time on coaching calls. I have to remind the person to take a step back and take a breath.
This is impactful because it's all about creating new neural pathways. Our brain is a muscle that can be trained, but like any other muscle it takes time. These deep breaths to interrupt a thought is how we start this process.
This correlates with samskaras, a yogic concept. Our thoughts create grooves in our brain and the more we think that thought, the more it is imprinted as a groove. This makes it more likely for us to think that thought again or take that action.
By interrupting our thoughts, we can create new samskaras, or new grooves, so it then becomes easier to remember the good stuff. By simply taking a breath, we can interrupt the old “road” and forge a new path by going a new way with a new thought.
The next time you catch yourself in a negative or limiting thought, stop and take a breath. That’s it. Just an inhale and an exhale.
Talk to yourself like you would talk to a friend
With this reframing thought, think about what you would tell a friend. If you’re anything like me, you can be really harsh to yourself and say things you would never say to another person.
Imagine your friend came to you and said something like: “I’m really struggling. I feel like I don’t know enough to help other people." What would you do next?
You'd be kind to your friend, right? You’d probably help them remember what they DO know and how they HAVE helped others already.
Well, that’s what you want to do for yourself as well. This can be your reframing thought.
You can take the reframing thought to another level too. Something I’m trying this year is to read some of the nice things people have said about me as a coach each week on Monday. As I start the week, I will remind myself of a few nice things people have said so that those voices are louder than the ones in my mind telling me I don’t know enough or others are doing it better.
Come up with your reframing thought or preventative action you can take to help with your negative or limiting thoughts. Write it down now so you don’t have to come up with it in the moment.
Your next step
Follow this process of reminding yourself that you’re not alone in this, that you’re enough just as you are today, take a step back for a minute and then talk to yourself like you would talk to a friend.
From there, identify one tiny step you can take today to help you feel more confident in yourself as a person and a business owner.
Maybe that’s sending an email to your email list because you’ve been saying you would do it for the last 6 months.
Maybe it’s taking a nap because you’re tired.
Maybe it’s identifying the goal you want to work towards over the next 90 days so you can make progress and achieve a goal.
Whatever it is, take one small step today. Action leads to confidence and progress.
Give yourself lots of grace, but please take action with something today even if that action is to allow yourself permission to rest. Action doesn’t always mean busting your butt, it simply means doing something. As a matter of fact the definition is “a thing done; an act”. So whether it’s sending an email, taking a nap or identifying your next goal, that’s action.
Until next time, give yourself permission to remember that you’ve got this and grace along the way.
"You have gifts that you were meant to share and you have everything that you need inside you right now. You are enough." - Amanda McKinney
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